Take it from me – when in Rome, speak as the Romans do; when in Israel, speak Hebrew! Sociologist say that if you do not know the local lingo, you lose out on a whole cultural experience; I would like to add that you are lessened not only in the aforementioned experience but also in the length of your bangs!!
With rudimentary knowledge of hebrew, I ventured out into the big bad world of Beersheva Tonsorial Parlors… aka Barber Shops… After picking one I liked, I entered cautiously.
Here, I must mention that though my hair has been growing on my brainiac head for the last five months, seeing neither hair nor hide of a shears (pun totally wintended, i say wonly), it is not of a length to inspire poems or rapunzel tales. It looks cool though, maybe a little unruly!
Back to Barber Shop… Rating R: R:”Restricted, Under 17 Net Surfer Requires Accompanying Parent Or Adult Guardian.” What follows contain graphic descriptions of of cutting and shearing; wild gesticulating and one syllable language;
B here stands for barber a.k.a. Barber of BeerSheva, Me stands for poor ole ME
B: Shalom!
Me: Shalom! Ma Nishma? *There ended my use of my fluent more-than-one-syllable Hebrew.* Do you speak Anglait?
B: A leetil
Me:I am here for a haircut. The board outside says 30 shekels. Is that right?
B: Yas! 30 shekels. Sit!
Me: (*Thinking to myself – Pidgin anglait will be easier for him to comprehend*) B’seder! I need hair trim. Little hair, I have (Sparks of Yoda-ish, you see?). Not short, trim. B’seder?
B: B’seder. Ken
Me: (*On his taking out his scissors and comb, I begin to picking at random strands of hair and showing how long I wanted the hair length to be- insurance; just making sure*) Trim? See? Trim. Not Cut. Trim
B: ( Perplexed ) No cut? Shave?
Me: (Plucking random hairs out in frustration – I dont need to get my hair cut; a few more minutes will result in a sufficient decrease in hair quantity) Lo! Lo! Cut, yes (Hands describing the Vitruvian Man in the air)
B: Aaaah ! Treem! B’seder.
Me (settling in, thinking – he knows what he needs to do, sit and enjoy the experience): Tov, Todah!
B: India?
Me: Yes
B: India – 3 rupees; here 30 shekels!
Me: (Ah! He’s talking about the price of haircuts) Lo! 30 rupees now. get more costlee
B: No, reeckshaw.. 3 rupees
Me: (*Confused* – Where did the reeckshaw come from?) Ken!
*Sound of scissors clackety clacking, electric razors humming, people shouting at each other outside*
15 minutes later, I wake up from a reverie to find 80% of my hair gone!!! How did THAT happen? I turned to yell in Pidgin English at B but was stopped by the smile he had on his face- akin to DaVinci admiring his most precious work. “Treem”, he said
Aah well, cant argue with that. I directed my shorn head homeward and the first thing my roomates told me was, “You look like you are planning to join the Army”
*sigh*
“I guess, after all, tomorrow is another hair day”
Hum ab nischithta se keh sakte hain ki Hum Baal Baal Nahin Bachey!
Peace out
Reporting from Camp Beraber
BeerSheva
Hebrew Glossary:
Shalom: Peace/Hello/Greetings
Ma Nishma: How are you?
B’seder: Okay
Tov: Good
Todah: Thanks
Lo: No
Ken: Yes